Don't Forget Me, I Beg
by Vixi89
Summary: Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you. Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said,"Sometimes it lasts in love, But sometimes it hurts instead". H/N.
1. The Realisation

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you.  
I wish nothing but the best for you.  
Don't forget me, I beg,  
I remember you said,  
"Sometimes it lasts in love,  
But sometimes it hurts instead"_

_**(Someone like you, Adele)**_

He didn't know when it had happened exactly although he knew it had been sudden.

It had struck him like a bright bolt of lightning; sending a sharp, agonising pain searing through his body as he realised that every treasured moment with her had surmounted to this.

To nothing.

Not for him at least.

The years of effortlessly coasting through life, ever the eternal bachelor; humorous but caring, brave but sensitive, comfortable but alone, had led him to this.

The sudden realisation had come too late.

No. That was denial talking.

The realisation hadn't been sudden at all. For years, a sincere and heartfelt emotion had remained veiled by the sharp, witty exterior Harry was best known for. An emotion that had stirred on many occasions, waiting, pleading to break free, but something had always prevented it from doing so.

Harry feared it was stubbornness, rather than the endless string of fateful events that seemed to plot against him, which had forbidden the outbreak of his true self. Forbidden the outbreak of his love.

For he now realised that _love_ was what he felt.

It was a love like none he'd experienced before. Not the kind that sweeps you off your feet and is forever being drained of all sincerity by romantic novels and films. Not the kind that is new, exciting and vaguely resembles lust. Not even the kind that allows for a comfortable relaxation into an acceptable future. _This_ was different.

All Harry knew was that it _was_ love.

He was _in_ love.

In love with his best friend.

* * *

The initial relief that Harry had felt from admitting it to himself, admitting everything, all the turmoil of his mind, disappeared with the last remains of the scotch in his glass.

He was in love with his best friend. True.

He had loved her for as long as he could remember now. True. 

Then the heart-wrenching reality hit.

She was in love with another man.

In his mind he paused for a moment. He gave in. 

True.

* * *

After pouring himself a second glass, Harry absorbed the silence of his empty flat before continuing on his mental journey.

You were too scared to ever admit to yourself that you felt the way you did. True.

You were too scared to admit to _her_ how you felt. True.

What were you scared of? 

You once believed she could love you in return. True.

That belief had slowly faded. True. 

There is no belief left in your heart now.

Another pause.

There should be no doubt in your mind that your love is unrequited.

For tomorrow, is her wedding day.


	2. Here Come the Bells

_**Harry:**_

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,  
I had hoped you'd see my face,  
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over._

It had been a long three hours. Sat next to the floor length window of the coffee shop. A glorious view right down the street. The sun streaming in.

He had known where to sit, what church to observe. He had known for months. Couldn't remember how he'd found out.

Didn't matter much anyway. He wasn't invited. How could he expect to be, the way they had left things. So bitter. So jealous. So naive. He was all these things, and she, none.

For she was beautiful, graceful, elegant and mesmerising. She was everything he'd ever wanted. But she was marrying another man.

Today.

* * *

Harry wasn't sure exactly how many months had passed. But he knew that since Nikki Alexander had removed herself from his life, the days were longer, darker, formidable.

He wondered if she were to see him now, would she even recognise him. It felt as though all the life had been drained from his very being.

It had been impossible to carry on working after what happened. He had handed in his resignation to Leo the very same day.

He regretted it instantly, but his stubbornness ensued and he had soon enough found himself at a morgue across town, working ordinary hours, with ordinary people.

It had taken this devastating turn of events for him to realise how little his life meant without Nikki in it. Or Leo for that matter. The first few lunches he'd had with his boss, after it had all first happened, had helped to ease the situation and provided him with the much longed-for details on Nikki's Harry-less life.

But with every story of Nikki's new life without him in it, Harry could feel himself slipping further away from reality. He ended the lunches with Leo soon after.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected of her. Selfishly, he'd wanted to believe she would come running back to him. But he'd always held in the back of his mind her comment from years ago when he'd threatened to leave for America;

"What did you think Harry? Did you think that I'd crawl around the science room wailing 'please don't go', how pathetic do you think I am?"

She didn't need him. Not anymore.

* * *

The bells were ringing. It was over. Harry had watched her enter the church, Leo on her arm, an angel in white. He would remember her that way always.

He realised then, with a surge of intense regret, that he'd always hoped when he'd see her looking this way; the dress, and the veil, that it'd be him she'd be wearing it for. It wasn't.

He stood now on the opposite side of the road. His eyes fell on the church spire, glinting wildly in the sun. And there she was once again. His angel in white. Only she wasn't his. Never would be.

Leo had once mentioned a conversation with Nikki in which she had hinted that her and Harry had always left it too late to be together. Something always got in the way. How true her words were now.

But then Nikki was always right. It was one of the very things Harry loved about her. That, and her generosity, her scent, her laugh...

... her eyes.

The very one's he was staring into now, albeit from across the road. Such a deep brown. Those chocolate eyes, the ones that haunted his dreams every night. Of course he could not see their colour now, in the distance, but that didn't prevent his imagination from recreating them in his mind.

He'd never meant for her to see him. He hadn't wanted to ruin her day. He wanted her to be happy.

They'd once been happy together. Every day. She filled his life with so much energy, so much promise. So much of everything he'd become was down to her. He'd taken it for granted. Pushed her away. Told her that she was getting married for all the wrong reasons.

"He's not right for you." Harry had said, "You shouldn't accept an offer of marriage just because you're not sure if something better will ever come along."

He winced, remembering all the sordid details of their argument. He never had worked out why it had ended their friendship. They'd had more severe fights before, he was sure of it.

In the midst of the pain he felt at that moment, a gentle smile and a considerate nod from Nikki, as she climbed into the wedding car, eased the weight on his heart ever so slightly. She'd seen him, acknowledged his presence, and smiled. She looked happy, content. That was enough for him.

He watched as the car pulled away from the church amidst a sea of waving relatives and friends, including Leo and Janet. And just before he turned to leave, he saw Nikki turn also and wave out of the back window of the car.

She was waving at him.

Harry had known that this day would come. He had known it for months. He had prepared himself for it for months. He had no idea how painful it would actually be. To watch her, married, disappear into her exciting future. Without him.

It hurt like hell.

But he knew now. He'd seen it with his own eyes. Nikki was happy. She would be happy. Without him.

And so today, today was the beginning of the rest of his life.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,  
I had hoped you'd see my face,  
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over._

**Such a beautiful song by adele, and it really reminded me of the whole Harry/Nikki situation, so was my inspiration for this. Possible few more chapters coming up. It'll be short but sweet. Be great to know if anyone thinks it's worth carrying on with. :)**


	3. Surprised to see me?

_**Nikki:**_

_I heard that you're settled down,  
that you found a girl and you're married now,  
I heard that your dreams came true,  
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you..._

She'd known it was a sign. It had been two years. Two years without him. Two years in which she felt she changed irrevocably. For the better? She didn't know. But she _had_ changed.

She had left the Lyell centre. Handed in her resignation shortly after the honeymoon, realised it reminded her too much of Harry.

It had been a clean break.

Until now. There it was in black and white. Front page of _The Forensic Examiner. _His name. Doctor Harry Cunningham, 'expert pathologist gives controversial opinions on Hycliff Murders'.

She laughed to herself. Typical Harry, controversial. He didn't know how to be any other way. Still not a professor then.

Not that she'd accomplished much in the past few years. She had built up a stunning home and written a few research papers, but none that had made it into anything nearly as prestigious as _The Forensic Examiner_.

She found herself wondering why, for the first time in two years, she was suddenly concerned with the extent of her career.

For two years, she'd put her all into her new 'family'. She had a husband. Soon enough perhaps, there'd be children. She hadn't had time to worry about her career.

The fact that she still didn't feel ready to have children yet had bothered her for a while now though. Even more so now.

She vaguely remembered whining to harry some eight or nine years ago about the possibility of her never having children, growing old and shrivelled like a prune. To which he'd made some joke about her being more of a raisin than a prune.

And then he'd kissed her. Hmm.

'Stop it Nikki, STOP' she thought.

She'd played his game for a further five, maybe six years, and grown tired of her life as it was. Although thinking back now, she couldn't remember what there was to grow tired of.

She'd loved her job. She'd adored working with Harry and Leo. She'd been happy.

She realised, with the slow but deliberate sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, that she was far from happy now.

* * *

Nikki felt like a school girl waiting on a valentines card as she lingered outside the lecture room. Nervous. But excited. Oh so excited.

She'd sat through the entire conference, tucked in at the back, watching him. She wasn't sure she'd even been listening to the subject, merely the sound of his voice.

It was so good to see him again. Now all she had to do was talk to him.

She smiled as she peered inside the room and surveyed the line of young women waiting for a brief moment to speak with their intelligent, handsome speaker for the afternoon.

No change there then.

She suspected few of them had questions regarding the conference itself, most were probably offering their phone numbers. 'Pointless', she thought. He's married after all.

A further ten minutes or so passed before he appeared in the corridor before her.

Nikki, perched on the bottom step of the great stairway, rose quickly but hesitantly. She hoped she looked ok. It was warm in the conference room and she felt a little flushed.

"Harry!" She squealed, sounding a little more excitable than she would have liked.

"Nix?" Asked Harry, a surprised look on his face.

"Yep. Surprise! Bet you didn't expect to see me of all people here today." Grinned Nikki.

It was as if all the troubles of their past together had evaporated. She could not have been happier to see him.

"No, what a surprise! I would never have expected to see you here..."

Nikki studied his face for a moment, glimpsing the beginnings of his trademark mischievous grin.

"You don't seem as surprised as I was expecti-"

"Oh alright!" Harry interrupted, "I saw you come in and sneak to the back, so I might have guessed that you'd be out here after the lecture, yes. You got me!"

Nikki felt her cheeks flush an even brighter shade of red.

"You didn't have to spend the entire time hiding behind Old 'Snorey Joe' in the back there though. Could have come up before it started and introduced yourself. You know, 'Hi, Doctor Cunningham, I'm Doctor Nikki Alexander, Forensic Anthropologist-turned-Pathologist, you might not remember me as, despite being the best of friends a while back, we stopped talking abruptly and haven't spoken a single word to each other in over two years. Good luck with your lecture.', you know, something like that." Harry joked.

Nikki could only assume she resembled something close to a beetroot at that exact moment in time.

Over and over in her mind she'd replayed the termination of the closest friendship she'd ever experienced, how she had felt, and how she would broach the subject with Harry when she eventually saw him again.

And as usual, true to form, Harry had exposed all her anxiousness in one swift, witty remark.

She hated him for that.

"Er, I think you'll find it takes two to tango, and that sounded curiously like you were placing much of the blame on me, Doctor Cunningham."

"Not at all. I was merely pointing out the unfortunate circumstances under which one of the greatest friendships of all time came to a rather unnecessary end. In my opinion anyway. How've you been nix?" Asked Harry as he took her hand and led her to a seating area a few steps down the corridor.

"Great." Nikki Lied. "Brilliant. I live in Surrey now." She said, unable to think of a single other distinguishing fact about her life at that moment.

"Lovely, so lovely big house with a big garden then I assume?"

Nikki nodded.

"Good. You always dreamed of having a big garden. 'Enough room for the petunias and rhododendrons, as well as a paddling pool and a swing', eh?" Harry reminded her, "So, any kids then?"

Nikki shook her head. It felt so wrong. A conversation with Harry discussing where they both lived, whether either had children, such major decisions that had been made without each other.

Time was they knew the ins and outs of each other's daily lives. Not once since they'd known each other had they had to catch up on more than a weekend's worth of news.

She felt uncomfortable there in the corridor, like everything about this conversation was far too temporary.

"Shall we go for come lunch after your next lecture, Harry?" Nikki asked, looking him directly in the eye.

She'd missed Harry Cunningham's company for the last two years. She wasn't about to go losing him all over again.

"That sounds perfect. See you back here in an hour or so?"

Nikki watched Harry leave. Smiling in the knowledge that he'd be back soon enough. She'd waited 2 years. She could wait another hour.

**If anyone's reading or enjoying these, please let me know. It's nice to have a reason to continue writing. :)**


	4. Time Flies

**Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed so far. I've got more of an idea where I'm going with this now, and have just handed in a huge chunk of my dissertation, so might be able to update more often. :) Loving reading evryone else's fics too. Keep them all coming!**

**

* * *

**

_You'd know how the time flies.  
Only yesterday was the time of our lives._

Harry was amazed he'd managed to coherently string his thoughts together during his hour-long presentation. In fact, he wasn't entirely sure he had.

He couldn't remember anything he'd discussed in detail, although he vaguely recalled answering a question, regarding the improvement of the turnaround time for histology and toxicology results, with a rather philosophical reply. Something to the effect of, "The best things in life are the ones you have to wait for. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of patience."

If Harry was the sort of person to use words like 'cringe' in his everyday vocabulary, this would have been an extremely appropriate time to use that very word. He hoped he hadn't just completely undermined his reputation in front of all his colleagues.

It had been, what, two years since he'd last seen Nikki? It was rare that a day would go by without him reliving her wedding day in his mind. The day that had changed his life. And now he'd changed. He wasn't the same Harry, and he suspected she wasn't the same Nikki either.

It wasn't until they were no longer in each other's company each day, that Harry had realised how much of who he was as a person had become defined by Nikki, and he suspected it worked both ways.

He also suspected however, that Nikki's husband of two years would now be the one defining factor in her life. He would comfort her when she was hurt, hold her close when she was exhausted, and be there for her when she needed him most; all the things Harry used to do...

...tell her how stunning she looks every single day, take her to bed when she's worked too hard, and wake up to her beautiful face each and every morning; all the things Harry had once wished he could do.

* * *

As Harry approached the front of the main building, he could see Nikki perched on a picnic bench, reading a book, and bathed in glorious sunshine. She looked angelic. Another mental flashback of her wedding day invaded his mind, but he shook it right out again. He didn't need to revert to the heartbroken shell of a man he had once been.

He was strong now. He had been for two years. He was married, and he loved Emma. He knew that much. A surprise visit from his best friend would never change that. He wondered why he felt a pang of guilt as he glanced in Nikki's direction.

"Harry!" Nikki beamed, looking up from her book. She seemed almost surprised to see him.

"Hello trouble." Harry replied, embracing her in a tight hug, before seating himself on the opposite side of the bench.

"How was it? The lecture?" Nikki asked.

"See, now why would you insist on calling it a lecture? Am I really that boring? I much prefer the term 'presentation' thank you very much!"

Nikki laughed. "I do apologise Doctor Cunningham. How was the presentation? And just for the record, I don't ever recall you being 'boring' as such..." she paused a moment, "except when you'd insist on reading me the latest news from _Aviation Monthly_. Or when you'd get a little too involved in a case and read me your entire PM report for the hundredth time. Or when you-"

"Alright, alright. Did you come here today just to throw insults at me?" Harry smiled.

"You wish." Nikki replied.

It was true. How he'd missed their games, their banter, and their teasing. He'd not had the same connection with anyone since.

"You know, if I'd have wanted someone to tell me how painfully boring and uninteresting I am on a daily basis, I'd have had children, Nix!"

"So no little Harry Cunninghams running around then?" Nikki asked, a smile spreading across her face.

"It's only been two years Nix, and I seem to remember that the last time we spoke, I was, apart from extremely bitter and petulant, very much single. On what planet do you expect I managed to woo a woman, get a ring on her finger, and somehow already have children _running_ around by now? Even I'm not that good!"

"Oh I don't know Harry, you've always had a way with the young ladies. Young being the operative word. Anyway, rumour has it you _have_ managed to woo a lady _and_ get a ring on her finger. Oh god Harry, you didn't go and marry one of your adoring 25 year-olds did you? Tell me she's at least in her thirties!" Nikki teased.

Harry's mood had dipped slightly since the conversation had turned to Emma. He'd only just met Nikki again after such a long time, surely they didn't need to discuss the complicated entirety of his life right now.

"Yes, she _is_ in her thirties thank you very much. And you'll be glad to know that I ditched my old 'handsome bachelor' ways long, long ago. Although I still kept a hold of the 'handsome' part of course." Harry joked, tossing his hair in a rather camp manner to emphasise his statement.

Nikki laughed. A beautiful laugh. How he'd missed her.

"Well, well, well! Frankly I'm amazed you could find someone to marry when you've already shagged everyone in London. Ah, did you travel out of town to find her?"

"I resent that. Firstly. I have not slept with everyone in London, as you well know" Harry shot Nikki a mischievous look, "and secondly, actually yes, I met her on a conference weekend in Oxford. She's a Forensic Physician."

Harry didn't know how the discussion had once again returned to his wife.

"Anyway, why all the sudden questions?" Harry continued. "I'm finished up for the day now, so we've got all afternoon to discuss the ins and outs of the last two-and-a-bit years. Let's go for a wander round campus, I'll show you the sights and maybe if you're nice to me, buy you a drink a bit later." He held out his hand.

Nikki sat for a moment. Hands in her lap, staring at the ground.

"I'm divorcing Matthew."

There it was. In one hour, and with just three words, Nikki had turned Harry's life upside down once more.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,  
I had hoped you'd see my face,  
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over._


	5. The way things are

_Nothing compares, no worries or cares.  
Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.  
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_

Nikki didn't look up. She knew that Harry would react in one of two ways. He would either try to make light of the situation and break the tension with a joke, or he would begin a long tirade of 'I told you so', following on from the very conversation that ended their friendship over two years ago.

In fact, he did neither.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Harry's feet appeared in front of Nikki, who was still staring at the ground. Without a word, he crouched down slowly and, placing a single finger under her chin, lifting her head slightly so that her eyes met his.

For a few moments it was as if the world had ceased to turn. Nikki stared into Harry's deep brown eyes, so full of understanding and sympathy.

Then, still without uttering a word, she felt herself being pulled gently towards the ground. As she slid forward off the bench, and onto her knees, she was gathered up in a strong embrace from her best friend. She took a deep breath and inhaled the scent that was still so 'Harry'.

* * *

They had been lying in each other's arms on the grass for quite some time before either of them spoke. It was as if one word would somehow end the magic of the very moment. Nikki decided she owed Harry an explanation.

"I'm so sorry for turning up like this, Harry. I'm sorry for everything I said back then, I'm sorry for being such a stubborn cow, I'm sorry for not inviting you to the wedding, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when you said he couldn't make me happy, and I'm sorry for being here now, telling you all this." Nikki began to sob gently.

Harry propped himself up on one arm and lay sideways, looking down at Nikki, who had covered her face with her hands. He gently placed his own hands round her wrists and pulled them down to her waist, revealing her bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks.

"Nikki Alexander. Don't even try to apologise for being here now. Time was, you'd apologise for _not_ filling me in on your antics. I've missed out on being there for you for over two years. I want to hear everything." Harry told her, "And if you're really lucky, I might refrain from any sarcastic comments or other humorous commentary while you tell me."

Nikki smiled. "Are you sure that's possible? Have you had an operation to remove your 'sarcasm gland' since I last saw you?"

"Nix." Harry said firmly, a serious tone to his voice. "Why did you come here today?"

Nikki sat up, wondering how to start her explanation.

"I can't explain it really. I guess when I saw your feature in _The Forensic Examiner_, I suddenly realised that I'd missed out on two years of you, and I couldn't remember why we'd even stopped talking. I think I'd known that things weren't right with Matthew for a while. When we filed for divorce, there was only one person I could think of who I wanted to tell. You, Harry. I've missed having my best friend around."

Harry smiled. He felt no need to interrupt her though. She carried on.

"Do you know how many Second World War films I have had to sit through on a Friday night? I haven't watched my Dirty Dancing DVD in two years, Harry!"

"What an awful shame!" Harry grinned.

"Don't pretend you don't love it! You've always fancied yourself a bit of a Patrick Swayze!" Nikki laughed.

"Well, you've got me there. I mean every man wishes he had a few more of the Swayze moves in him, don't they?"

"I suppose they do. You've got some talent though Harry. I've experienced some of the 'Cunningham moves' remember."

"Err, not quite sure I do. Oh wait, are we still talking about dancing here?" Harry asked mischievously, as Nikki raised her eyebrows.

"Seriously though, Harry. I want us to be friends again. Do you think you can forgive me, and maybe occasionally find some time in your glorious married life to entertain your lonely spinster friend again?"

Harry thought about her request for a moment, before taking her hands in his and turning slightly so that both of them were sat on their heels, facing each other.

"Nikki, I have not seen or heard from you for over two years. You turn up here, out of the blue-"

"I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't-", Nikki interrupted.

But Harry pressed a single finger against her lips to silence her, before tracing the line of her jaw with the back of his hand, and once again propped her head upwards with his hand under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"Let me speak Nix. You turn up here, completely out of the blue, and..." Harry paused, "quite frankly, you take my breath away."

Nikki couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had been convinced that her visit would end in complete rejection by the best friend she'd abandoned, all for a marriage that had already ended.

Harry continued. "You are the only person I know with such an incredible faith in life. Faith in everyone. You truly believe that everything will always turn out fine. I didn't appreciate that in you enough. You always knew what you wanted, and you went out there to get your 'happily ever after' Nix, even when your bitter best friend tried his selfish best to prevent you from doing so."

"But you were right, Harry. My 'happily ever after' isn't happy anymore. I'm not sure it ever was. I was always at my happiest when at work with you and Leo, and yet I always wanted more. Always wanted the nice house, big garden, trophy husband, loads of kids. But the thing is, I could never bring myself to try for kids with Matthew. What does that tell you?"

"It tells me that maybe you're just not ready to have children yet, Nix. Maybe it's not down to Matthew at all." Harry comforted, trying his best to give Matthew the benefit of the doubt.

It wasn't like he hadn't been here before. There had been so many others. Dan 'the man', Ryan, Anton, her father. Each and every one had walked all over her heart, and it was one of the very reasons Harry had never allowed himself to cross the metaphorical line that divided his and Nikki's friendship, and the possibility of an intimate relationship. He didn't want to become one of_ them_.

It was then that he realised something.

"Nikki. You will get through this. Every man that has ever let you down doesn't deserve his place on this earth. And from my recollection, _you've_ always been the one to end it when things go wrong. You are the strongest person I know. I hope you know how much I appreciate you coming to me in spite of everything. You will always be, and have been for as long as we've known each other, my best friend."

Nikki smiled and edged closer to Harry, with them both entering into a warm embrace, Harry's arm round her shoulders as he pulled his jacket up over her bent legs.

"Harry?" Nikki said after a few moments, "Have you and-" Then she realised for all the talking about her, she didn't even know Harry's wife's name.

"Emma?" Harry offered.

"Emma." Nikki tried to picture her, "Have you and Emma talked about having children? I mean, I know you said you haven't got any yet? But do you think you will?"

"No. I don't think so." Harry mumbled. He would have to tell her. He was feeling guilty enough as it was.

"Pity. I was looking forward to being a godmother." Nikki sighed, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the warmth of their embrace.

Harry had hoped she'd leave it there. No chance. It was Nikki after all.

"Why?" She simply said. "I always thought you'd make a great dad, Harry."

Here it was. He was about to end the magic of the afternoon.

"We tried, actually." Harry murmured, "But Emma can't have children."

"Oh Harry, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you say anything?" Nikki paused, "So what will you do. Do you think you'll adopt? I mean, or are you happy for it just to be the two of you for the rest of your life?

Nikki asked, but Harry didn't respond.

"It's a long time Harry, with just the two of you", Nikki continued, "but then I suppose what do I know, my marriage hasn't exactly gone swimmingly."

There was another awkward silence. Then Harry removed himself from their embrace and stood, leaning against the picnic bench, facing away from Nikki. He couldn't look her in the eye. He didn't want to burden her with his troubles.

"It won't be a long time, just the two of us."

"No?"

"No. Emma's dying. She has less than six months to live."

Harry had never needed the comfort of his best friend more.


	6. Respect and Admiration

_Sorry it's been a while since the last update, but I've been a bit snowed under with the dissertation and other dull real life matters. :( This chapter is only short, but is dedicated to Ann1119 who asked when the next update would be, and therefore persuaded me to publish what I had so far. In light of my registration today to run the Race for Life for the third time, this chapter is dedicated also to all those who are currently suffering or have suffered with cancer. You are all admired, respected and heroic individuals. May love be with all of you at all times. x _

_**I remember you said,**_

"_**Sometimes it lasts in love,  
But sometimes it hurts instead"…**_

_A month later..._

As he squeezed her hand oh so tight and glanced down at the apprehension on her face, he thought back to that afternoon four weeks ago when both their lives had taken a sudden and irreversible turn towards somewhere he was now unsure of.

At one time or another, it had seemed inconceivable that either of them could survive the pivotal moments of life without the other. He had come to rely on Nikki to catch him when he fell, give him courage when he felt weak, and provide reassurance when he felt doubt.

He wasn't quite sure when, but at some point in the two years he spent apart from his best friend, it had dawned on him that they were no longer integral cogs in the mechanics of each other's lives.

The big 'however' at this moment remained though. They hadn't had the luxury of each other's support for two years, although lord knows he'd craved it often enough, HOWEVER, little had happened in the last two years for which he desperately needed Nikki's support. He needed support _now_, and she had found him just in time.

Like gravity; certain, momentous moments pull you in.

Their relationship was based on a universal understanding and innate sense of timing, enabling them to each carve their mark on the other's significant life moments.

And he was glad that gravity had brought her to here. For Harry needed her. Now more than ever.

* * *

She had known from the very beginning that Harry Cunningham was the man to change her life. She had come to realise also that various events in both their lives would come to alter their relationship, for better or worse.

They had both said the 'for better or for worse' vows. To different people, but they had said them nonetheless. Although, she thought, for Harry, 'till death do us part' may have a much more significant meaning right now.

He had been so strong in the face of such tragedy, and she, selfish as she felt, had not been able to bring herself to meet the woman responsible for Harry's heartbreak.

For Emma was a woman who Nikki feared. Not for any substantial or viable reason, but because Nikki had never before met anyone with a greater hold than herself over Harry's heart.

From Harry's heartfelt descriptions, Nikki knew Emma to be a woman full of talent, ambition, passion and love. A woman who didn't deserve not to live out her whole life in the arms of someone as wonderful as Harry.

Nikki felt that to meet Emma face to face would be as if to crowd her significance in Harry's life, and she couldn't have wanted anything less.

For someone she had not met, she had never before harboured such admiration and respect as she felt for Emma.

A strong and confident woman who refused to let a cancerous disease ruin her incredible zest for life, Nikki had heard Harry refer to his wife on a number of occasions. And she believed him.

She felt him squeeze her hand and look upon her face briefly.

And now, all cowardice and fear aside, Nikki was about to meet the woman who had woven herself so perfectly into the life of Harry Cunningham.


	7. Meeting You

Harry's apartment did not reflect the mental image Nikki had built up over the last few months. Inside was bold, bright, beautiful even, but definitely not Harry. It took time for Nikki to consider the fact that the decor may have reflected Emma's tastes, and she internally reprimanded herself for forgetting that Harry no longer lived alone.

Harry led her by the hand through the hallway and into a spacious living area occupied by two large sofas, various other pieces of furniture, and the woman who had turned Nikki's life upside down on more than one occasion.

"Nikki, this is Emma. Ems, this is Nixs." Harry said as he offered Nikki a seat on the sofa opposite his wife, before crossing over to place a tender kiss on Emma's forehead.

Nikki's heart leapt. She couldn't be sure if it was a leap of jealousy or just of love for the best friend who would never kiss her in that same way, but she stifled the feeling nonetheless when Emma raised her head.

She was a petite woman, this emphasised further by the huge blanket covering her lower half, and dwarfing her small frame. Her auburn hair seemed inconsistent with her dark features, and Nikki surmised that it must have been a wig, a result of the intensive chemotherapy Harry had so often described to her.

As Emma's eyes met hers, Nikki smiled, a feeling of utter respect for the fragile woman sat opposite her. For Emma's eyes held such emotion, such life, that was absent throughout the rest of her body, and Nikki knew then that, in different circumstances, she and Emma would probably have been great friends.

Never in her life had Nikki seen anyone looking so drained, so physically tired, yet so obviously full of hope and passion for life. Emma was beautiful. Even the dark circles under her eyes, and the translucent appearance of her skin could not detract from that fact. She looked younger and more vulnerable than her years, and Nikki recognised the smile that spread across Emma's face as Harry kissed her forehead once more. Yes, it was one that Nikki had encountered on many occasions, there was love in that single smile.

"Nikki. Finally! I can't really believe I'm actually meeting you. Harry natters about you non-stop. I'm so glad you've found each other again after all this time." Emma offered in a quiet and affected, but sincere voice.

Nikki was almost surprised by the reaction, having expected Emma not to care less whether she had bothered to grace them with her presence or not. Emma obviously had more important aspects of life to focus on than the arrival of Harry's old work colleagues, and yet she seemed almost excited to meet Nikki.

Nikki was finding it increasingly difficult to stop herself from bursting into tears as a result of the injustice of the situation. Such a beautiful, warm-hearted young woman should never have been subjected to such a cruel disease, and Nikki could not have hated the world more in that moment.

"It's so good to finally meet you too" Nikki replied, "but I bet Harry's told me much more about you than he's told you about me. I'm not sure he even remembered who I was when I turned up at the conference." She joked.

"Ha! I may be getting on a bit now but my memory's not that bad! Besides, I spent seven years of my life having to put up with you sitting at my desk and drinking all my coffee! You don't just forget major misdemeanours like those in an instant!" Harry joked in return.

Nikki suddenly felt guilty for neglecting Emma from their habitual banter, but when as she turned to apologise, Emma chuckled, a large smile plastered firmly across her face.

"Bloody hell Harry, you and your desk!" Emma said as she turned towards Nikki, "You know, when we first met, Harry would not stop jabbering on about this feisty blonde colleague of his that was forever stealing his desk at work. I never really understood why he got so riled up about it, until we moved in together that is. Naturally I was intrigued by the desk thing, so once the study was properly decorated, desks assigned and all, I moved half my junk onto his and sat there doing my work one evening." Emma continued, throwing a knowing glance in Harry's direction.

"Well, I can only hope he wasn't ever as brutal with you as he was with me Nikki! He picked me up in a fireman's lift and physically removed me from the chair! Can't say I've ever bothered to try sitting there since! That man has got some serious love for his personal desk space!"

Both women fell about laughing at the expense of the man who had brought them together. Nikki had no problem in understanding just how Harry had fallen in love with the brave woman sharing her laughter, and in that moment Nikki felt a sudden surge of happiness for Harry's discovery of such a wonderful wife, swiftly followed by the heartbreaking sadness that their time together would so soon be cut short.

The feeling of sadness however, was further replaced by the realisation that, whatever was to happen in the lives of these two people, Nikki would be there, as a friend, to ease the burden. For both of them.


End file.
